I like to think I've become adept at reading your words and expressions (for which I get absolutely no thanks, by the way). But now you've said a string of words that has me stumped. I can kind of tell by your generally piercing tone (which hurts my ears ten times worse than yours) that you're upset. But I just can't understand what you're upset about now.
You just keep yelling and pointing and waving your hands around. It's almost like you're a very loud mime. If you'll remember from our previous trips to the park, I do not like mimes. I tend to bite them. I don't consciously decide this; it's just what happens. And having a mime shriek at me just makes it worse. My ears are sensitive you know; I can hear much higher frequencies which means high pitched noises that are nonexistent to you are painful to me.
Oh, and now you're pushing me. I try to tell you I don't like this but my growl is taken as insubordination and I hear one of the worst phrases you have. "Bad dog!" you shriek. I lower my head and try to look as sorry as possible. You stomp away to get another human.
What does "get off the couch" mean anyway?
I've heard that phrase before too. It just makes no sense. I mean, I think "couch" is what I'm sitting on. And "get" is what they say when they want me to attack a toy and bring it to them. Do they want me to attack the couch? 'Cause I don't think that will end well. I can totally take the couch in a fight.
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