Dear Human,
I know you like to make me tilt my head, which for some reason you squeal over with manic glee. And I'll admit, not much can make that happen as I get old and less easily shocked. Some of your surprising noises have simply become common background. So I suppose part of this could be considered my fault for being unshockable.
But this does not give you leave to dance like that. Please, for the love of god, never do that again. I promise that I will try to act surprised and do that funny tilt if you never ever look that way again. Really this is for the good of everyone, as well yourself.
As a side note, the fact that you keep Barbies on your desk may be part of the reason why you can't get laid. Your dance moves will not help you there.
Love
Your Beagle
Oh you think your human has it bad because they have a couple Barbies and dance funny. Please, that's kid stuff compared to what my human does. He has an ENTIRE room devoted to Pokemon. Wallpaper, stuffed toys, marquettes, you name it he owns it. And his idea of a good night out is to spend it at Applebees, playing trivia games until nine at which point he comes home and watches reruns of Golden Girls (which is a good show, but that's beside the point). If anyone ever needed an intervention, it's this guy.
ReplyDelete